Completely clueless to the virtues of vegetables, the Garbage Disposal is the most unhealthy eater in the office. Not only are his food choices questionable, the speed in which he eats is confounding. Whether it’s fast food, leftover lasagna (again) or a supersized ‘hangry man’ dinner, this guy inhales his lunch in under two minutes while watching youtube videos at his desk.
"Dude this is the bomb. I usually eat two of them with a handful of cheezies crumbled on top for extra crunch."
No one place on earth harbors more passive aggression than an office kitchen. And no one person is more responsible for that passive aggression than the self-appointed Kitchen President. This sweater wearing, label making, sticky note posting, high strung, neat freak cannot focus unless they know the kitchen is in order.
"I absolutely love this mac and cheese. It’s delightfully simple to prepare and there are no dishes to clean!"
Cleanse Girl is always chasing the latest trends in food. When she’s not applying the latest Snapchat filter to her midmorning snack selfie, she’s on Instagram stalking the latest celebrity health trend.
"I always get hella likes when I post something orange, citrus and beautiful. #luvoluv #citrus #food"
When passing by the Hipster Foodie’s desk, many often ask “Is that his desk or a kitchen supply store?” Armed daily with seven Tupperware dishes and three Mason jars with food he prepped at home, this is a guy who painstakingly takes an hour to make/assemble his lunch. He takes great pride in preparing meals that when finished look like they could be on the cover of Bon Appetit.
"Like I’ve been saying for years Polenta is going to be the new mashed potatoes. Pair this with a nice Cabernet and you’ve got a romantic dinner for one in minutes."
What happens when a recently divorced man has a midlife crisis and wants to get healthy? He starts drinking smoothies. Lots and lots of smoothies. In fact, that is the only thing he eats. After reading an article suggesting that fitness and smoothies can add 10 years to your life, the Smoothie Operator made the decision to blend everything, and exercise whenever possible.
"It fills me up for Tabata Tuesdays and Zumba Zaturday. Zing! I usually blend it with a couple of eggs."
Have you ever tried South African Sheep’s Head? How about Thai Bat Paste? You’ve never spread Casu Marzu on a cracker? Well don’t worry, The Exotic Eater in your office has and she proudly eats stuff like this for lunch. Married to a professor of anthropology, this world traveller will not eat anything that doesn’t come with a story.
"This dish always reminds me of discovering remote black-sand beaches on Kauai. I love this bowl paired with Icelandic Hurtspringer."
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